You think things happen fast in Hollywood? Nothing compared to the scarf industry. Emotional roller coaster, I tell you.
Here's a true story, as best as I can remember it:
Over the weekend, while I was getting sunburned at a backyard barbecue...
(pre sunburn)
I received an e-mail from an editor at Woman's World magazine asking for scarves that might fit a "Fall's Hottest Colors" spread. She wanted them by ... oh, yesterday.
I baked in the sun and my mind raced. I sipped a Corona.
I got an idea.
"I know," I thought. "I'll find the perfect pieces and convince her - through my professionally aloof yet charming attitude - to take them late."
(Because people don't like you if you're not charming BUT they don't respect you if you're not aloof.)
Flash forward to Monday - I told Chris...
(Chris)
to find scarves that matched the pantone chips the editor wanted, called Deep Teal, Quarry, Cedar, Coffee Liqueur and Phlox....
(pantone color book)
Phlox, if you are wondering, is a magenta. It's the name of a plant with clusters of white, red or purple flowers.
Phlox Plant
Okay, I know I'm getting away from the story but realize I've just gone through a trauma. Let me continue.
Chris chooses four great scarves and I kick into high flak mode to secure our fashion foothold in Woman's World Magazine.
This is Woman's World Magazine, by the way.
Not the most fashion-forward publication but it's sold in supermarkets across the country and boasts some of the biggest female subscription stats.
Plus, if it's good enough for Dr. Oz, it's good enough for me.
I throw the chosen scarves on our trusty mannequin and e-mail the following photos.
I helpfully listed the color names on each - a clever and winning move, I thought. (I also love how camera-shy Chris happened to accidentally end up on the background of each of these! Photo karma.)
I e-mailed the editor and she responded: "I need Quarry and Deep Teal - can you send asap?"
Bingo.
I announce to the office my victory. Something to the effect, "You know, Dr. Oz is going to be wearing our Striped Linen in Denim on the cover of a major national magazine."
I was riding high. My sunburn didn't even hurt anymore.
Then another e-mail from the editor: "Can you send me photos?"
I frowned. Didn't she already see the photos I so deftly attached to the e-mail? (I am part of the technical elite who can attach photos to e-mails - I'll show you how if you're nice.)
I decided not to point out the editor's embarrassing oversight and just resent the photos. I wrote something like, "Here's your Deep Teal and Quarry!"
I might have used several exclamation marks; I don't really remember.
Then the final response:
"thanks but they don't work :("
And that's how I got rejected by Woman's Wear Magazine. One un-punctuated sentence, followed by a frowny emoticon.
I picked myself up off the floor and broke the news to everyone. Nobody seemed surprised. They know it's a cold, cold world out there. Sometimes you're on top, the next you're on the bottom.
C'est la fashion.